Every parent wants their kids to become less and less dependent on them in decision-making as they grow up and eventually leave their home as adults.
One way to help them develop the skills they are going to need as adults are by allowing them to make more age-appropriate choices and experience the consequences of those choices.
Learning to be a good decision-maker is a skill that is learned, and kids will make mistakes along the way.
When children make mistakes, parents are tempted to intervene to prevent mistakes or rescue their kids from consequences, because we hate to see them suffer or struggle.
How many times do we rush to take our kid’s projects to them at school when they forgot them at home or quickly help them finish their homework in the morning when they forgot to do it despite you reminding them? All because we don’t want them to face the consequences.
I know this is hard for us as parents. We want to fix things for them. Perhaps we fear people’s judgement.
*What we do not realize is that allowing children to face the consequences of their actions is a great way to teach valuable life skills.*
Ask yourself this question “what will be more painful — allowing them to make mistakes under your roof or postponing the learning opportunity until later in life when the stakes are much higher?”
A parent shared how she had seen her 11years old daughter grew in responsibility and maturity because she was determined not to rescue her from consequences. For instance, her daughter called one afternoon from school asking for her to bring the project work she forgot at home. “If I don’t work on it in school today, I will be running late for my deadline”, she said.
Mom politely said I am sorry dear, I won’t be able to bring it. The daughter was not happy off-course.
Interestingly, when she returned from school that day, she rushed to get the project from her room and put it near her school bag. After dinner, without any reminder, she put the project and bag near the door so she doesn’t forget. She learned a valuable lesson to be more responsible for herself.
Dr. Tim Elmore said, it is the struggle to break out of the cocoon that gives butterflies the strength to fly. And as parents, we’ve realized by now our life experiences—both good and bad—strengthened and prepared us for the life we’re living.
When you allow your kids to experience the consequences of their mistakes, you prepare them to be capable adults later in life. Mistakes are wonderful opportunities to learn.